What is EQ and why should you know it as a parent?

Many of us today find it difficult to connect with people around us and sometimes even with our inner self. Especially the teens today are plagued by anxiety, stress, depression, etc., more so than adults. Are they well equipped to face the world with enough confidence and strength? Sadly, the answer is not a straightforward yes. Emotional quotient is the factor, which decides our success in either relationships or career.

What is EQ and why should you know it as a parent?

What is Emotional Quotient?

Emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability of an individual to understand and manipulate one’s emotions and feelings in a positive way which can relieve stress and anxiety, make communication better, help face challenges and conflict situations better. It is the ability of a person to not only understands and empathises with others but also the ability to cope with pressures and rationally, takes decisions in any given situation.

A person with high level of EQ can face any challenging situation in front of him/her and come out with flying colours. It helps hone one’s interpersonal and social skills. In fact, it is said that EQ is more important than IQ when it comes to being a success whether in academics or work life.

It is essential for us to nurture the EQ in our children, which can support them in dealing with the many emotional hailstorms as they grow into adults. Some are born with a strong EQ and hence can face any situations or people very quickly but sadly, not all are born with a strong EQ. Some children are born with either mediocre or low EQ and need us to guide them, and as parents, we play a pivotal role in strengthening the low EQ in our kids.

Signs of Low Emotional Quotient

Watch out for these signs, which show low emotional quotient:

  • Consistently poor academic performance. To be academics good, a lot of attention and concentration is required, which can be achieved with control over oneself.
  • Frequently losing control on emotions and failure to check anger, especially when unable to communicate their thoughts or feelings to others effectively.
  • Your teen is seen often criticising others and sees nothing wrong in doing so, mind you; we are not talking about constructive criticism here. Lack of empathy often makes a low EQ teen get into this habit of criticising others and is often surprised when people take exception to either their comments or jokes.
  • Your child does not exhibit signs of being a team player. Being a team player requires one to possess qualities of communication, persuasion, being in control, and also empathy.
  • Always blaming others: Teens with high EQ will have much better control of their emotions and have the ability to assess the problem and find solutions. They will refrain from blaming someone else for their troubles, whereas teens with low EQ are quick to blame others for all their troubles. They react instead of analysing the problem.
  • Not open to trying anything new, they are quite happy to remain in their comfort zone, not ready to change their routine or familiar pattern for anything. Any new ideas are disregarded upfront without another thought.
  • Low EQ teens will let negativity get to them. They cannot see anything positive in a given situation. They turn negative and give up on difficult situations easily. You will find them running away from problems than face them with their chin up. You also find them bitter when faced with failure rather than bravely accepting failure and moving on.
  • Socialising skills are very low, and hence they usually are unable to read people, and you will find them arguing their point without giving up even when it is not a valid one.

What is EQ and why should you know it as a parent?

Tips to Improve Emotional Quotient

Once you ascertain that your teen’s emotional quotient is low, as a parent, it falls on your shoulders to help change the situation and improve your child’s EQ. Let us look at some key skills required for the same:

  • Being aware of their emotions is the first step in improving your teens EQ. Encourage your teen to talk about their feelings and emotions and help them to understand their emotions.
  • Being aware is just the first step; the next step is being in control of your emotions. Help your teens with managing their moods, how to channelize their energy into constructive gain rather than wallowing in a bad mood. Help them with anger and stress management. Encourage your teen towards yoga and meditation, which will help them in being aware and in control of their emotions.
  • Help your teen to have a positive outlook on life. Focus on their strengths rather than weaknesses. Help them set a goal based on their strengths and encourage them to achieve the same. Once your teen focuses on positives, it will help them counter any setbacks or disappointments with ease and will help them tackle bigger obstacles in life.
  • Empathy is the main characteristic required in honing interpersonal skills. Nurture empathy in your teen. Make them aware by asking them to put themselves in someone else’s place to understand how the other would feel in certain situations.
  • Lead by example to teach your teen about relationship management. Make sure you keep aside family time where everyone in the family spends some quality time with each other and shares their feelings and experiences and enjoy the togetherness.
  • Make sure you are praising your teen in their success, no matter how small or big. It will build their self-esteem and confidence and also encourage them to strive harder for success.

Emotional intelligence is something, which develops, as we get older. All your teen needs are some encouragement and guidance from you to build stronger emotional quotient, which will enable them to develop healthy relationships and succeed both professionally and personally as an adult.

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  • Emotional Intelligence of Adolescents in Relation to Creativity –Online Journal– Accessed on May 20, 2017 – http://www.onlinejournal.in/IJIRV2I4/013.pdf
  • Nurturing Skills of Emotional Intelligence Through Educational Intervention Among College Students –IJOART– Accessed on May 20, 2017 – http://www.ijoart.org/docs/NURTURING-SKILLS-OF-EMOTIONAL-INTELLIGENCE-THROUGH-EDUCATIONAL-INTERVENTION-AMONG-COLLEGE-STUDENTS.pdf
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